Advent 2011: My Jesus

I have been doing some writing for my church community over the Advent season. I've been asked to post them online. So here goes... I pray that these will bless you and encourage you as you draw nearer to Christ this year... see Him and know that He sees you! Much love, Rachel

Week 1: My Jesus-Hope

To be human is to know suffering.
From the moment we are born, we are walking targets for pain and sorrow.
Life is full of mysteries.
Moments of asking, “Why?”
Failure. Rejection.
Unrequited love.
Abuse. Abandonment.
An empty womb.
Sickness. Loneliness.
Tragedy. Poverty.
Feeling Forgotten and Invisible.
It is tempting to become cynical or bitter.
Sometimes we find ourselves believing, there is no point...
But, to be human is to embrace Hope.

Hope is a seed of promise
Burrowed deeply into the soil of the soul,
Small and seemingly insignificant,
This seed bears internally the DNA of something far greater than itself

Hope is Truth planted firmly in the center of the heart
Like a flag that stands unwavering in the midst of a battle to remind soldiers what they’re fighting for.
Like a focal point upon which a weary woman fixes her gaze for strength to endure through long hours of labor
Like a final exam in the final course of one’s final semester, Hope says “You can do it.”
Like a candle that flickers in the early morning hours just before dawn,
Hope constantly reminds us that “the best is yet to come.”

Hope whispers in the darkness…
This seed will one day be a strong oak and become a resting place for hopeful souls
This battle will be won and another generation will live free
This child will be born and a new life will be lived
This diploma will be received and a career will begin
This sunrise will fill the morning sky and light will nourish creation.

Hope is a voice crying in the desert…
Hope is a baby wrapped in swaddling clothes
Hope is a boy who teaches men with wisdom far beyond his years
Hope is a man who fulfills promise after promise in daily obedience
Hope is a man who causes the blind to see, the deaf to hear and the lame to walk
Hope is a man who washes the feet of his followers
Hope is a man who willingly bears the burden of humanity’s hopelessness-- even unto death
Hope is an empty grave and a resurrected body
Hope is a city with eternal foundations filled with the souls who have lived by faith
Hope is a soon returning, glorious King…
Hope is Jesus.
My Jesus, My Hope.

Scripture Reading: Hebrews 10:36-11:1 (NLT)

So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you! Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that He has promised.

“For in just a little while, the Coming One will come and not delay.

And my righteous ones will live by faith.

But I will take no pleasure in anyone who turns away.”

But we are not like those who turn away from God to their own destruction. We are the faithful ones, whose souls will be saved.

Faith is the confidence that what we HOPE for will actually happen;

it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.

 
 
Week 2: My Jesus-Peace
 
A king once asked his subjects to draw a picture of peace. The king narrowed down the pictures to two finalists. One painting was a calm lake, with a clear sky and majestic mountains. The other was the same setting, but the sky was black and stormy, the lake rough and choppy. In a small tree sat a bird in its nest.
The king decided that the stormy picture best represented peace in his kingdom. The subjects were shocked. They wondered how he could choose such a frightening picture to represent peace. But the king pointed out the bird sitting quietly in its nest in the midst of the storm in the winning painting and announced,

"Peace is not the absence of noise, trouble or hard work. It is to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart."*

The world we live in defines peace as
The absence of strife and turmoil
Void of problems and disappointment
Peace is defined by a smooth, ripple-free lake
Not a cloud in the sky
This peace is rare and elusive

Jesus is the Prince of Peace
He promises peace
to all who come to Him
His peace is eternal
Steady and consistent
It enables us
to sleep in storms
to walk on water
to be rejected
to face death
And to keep standing firm
His peace is a nest
Precariously resting on a bent sapling

Two kinds of peace,
One is elusive, demanding us to strive for perfection
The other is certain, requiring us to rest in His Perfection
Which will you choose?

Scripture Reading: John 14:27

“I am leaving you with a gift- peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.”

*The fable about the king is not original. It is an anonymous tale shared with me by my lovely sister :-)
 
 
Week 3: My Jesus-Joy
 
“Let Us make humankind in Our Own Image…”
With those words, Creator God became involved in the human story
He knelt down to earth
Formed anatomy with His own hands
Vessels of flesh and bone,
Into which He breathed His Life
When He was finished, He stepped back and said,
“Now that is good!”
And on the seventh day, He rested
Enjoying His children, the bearers of His image
And His Joy was complete.

However, in an instant,
The Father’s joy turned to sorrow
His children disobeyed.
All creation turned against Him
Death began its slow decay
Pain commenced its harsh reign
Hatred’s seed was sown
And in that moment,
He promised, He would not rest again
Until His Joy could be restored

Over the years,
His promise prevailed
Jehovah Jireh, The One who makes a way
Remained with His children
After the flood, He sent the rainbow
In the desert, He walked
With Abraham, Isaac and Jacob
In Egypt, He preserved Moses
And raised him up to lead His children
Out of captivity and into the land of promise
It was His hand that toppled the walls of Jericho
His wisdom, courage and strength enabled Deborah, Gideon and Samson
Every move, intentional
Until His Joy could be restored

The Father’s heart broke
When His children chose a human king
Still He gave them Saul and then David
He wept as time and again
His children rejected Him
And the consequences of their own disobedience
Destroyed them repeatedly
Yet, His promise prevailed
Until His joy could be restored

Finally, Immanuel, God with us,
Chose once again to step down to earth
To take on human anatomy and be born as a baby
He was received in humility and raised in obscurity
He spoke with authority, proving His Deity
And still He was rejected.
Hung on a cross and laid in a tomb.
He didn’t have to, but He did
Because His promise prevailed
Until His joy could be restored

Then BOOM
On the third day, He rolled out of the tomb
Proving His Love by conquering Death,
He returned to the Father
Promising His children
Trust Me, I will return
Please wait for Me
I am sending a Comforter to BE with you
Until Our Joy can be restored

Since that time,
Freedom from Death has been possible
His Comfort has been available in sorrow
His Power has been present in weakness
For those who trust Him,
For those who call Him, Abba, Father
But, there is a day coming!
We will see Him, Face to face
Once again, we will be like Him
He will rest as He enjoys the delight of His children
And His Joy will be complete

Scripture Reading: John 15:7-11 ESV

If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. 9 As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. 10If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. 11These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.

 
Week 4: My Jesus-Love
 
There is nothing more beautiful
Than a woman who knows she is loved
Her eyes full of confidence, her voice steady
She stands strong in the face of uncertainty
She overcomes adversity with courage
Nothing can shake her assurance
Such a woman is “fearsome to behold”
She knows to whom she belongs
There is no lingering question
There is no doubt
She is loved.

On a wedding day,
It is not the white dress
That captivates a groom
It is the look of utmost confidence
In the eyes of the woman he loves
On that day the two dream and hope
Certain that in the days to come,
No matter what comes their way
She is loved, He is loved.
Their love will be enough.

Nonetheless
Even the love of a good man
Cannot complete a woman.
Hard times come, Hopes dwindle
Promises fail, Unexpected tragedy strikes
Again and again, Confidence wavers
Human love can only promise so much
Yes, hard times make one stronger
Love deepens
And yet sometimes love breaks
Human love will never completely fulfill

Yet there is Love that is stronger than death
Love that acknowledges…
“You are not enough, but I AM.”
“You are weak, yet I AM strong.”
In our imperfections,
Love becomes even more perfect.
Love is the eternal arms
And the burning eyes
Of a soon returning King

Jesus, The King of Glory chose you.
He is preparing a place for you.
One day soon He will return for His Bride, The Church
To the Father and all of the heavens
With fire in His eyes, He will say,
“This is her, the one who has ravished my heart.”
In that day, we will be with Him and He with us!
The Bride of Christ will be fierce and beautiful,
Confident, whole and secure.
For she will dwell in this truth,
She is loved with an everlasting love!

SCRIPTURE READING: EPHESIANS 3:14-21

14 When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, 15 the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth.16 I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. 17 Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. 18 And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. 19 May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

20 Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. 21 Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen.

You cannot "unplug" from true community...

I've been chewing on a cultural buzzword lately. It seems like everyone is enamored with the concept of "community"... We all want it... But do we even know what it looks like?

It seems like our generation idealizes community.  We were raised watching shows like Friends, Seinfeld, & The Office, etc. It seems that we view community as a group of dysfunctional people who have no boundaries and who live together. Or we view community as a social organization that meets & works together semi-regularly...wearing cool t-shirts, doing good deeds and playing fun games.

Most often, culture defines community. In western culture (US, Canada, Europe), we value individualism. From the time we are born, we are taught to say "I did it all by myself." Let's call this an "I-self" culture. We define community as a network of individuals who have something in common (a set of beliefs, a location, a hobby, etc) who get together regularly around this commonality. Within this cultural context, being part of community is a choice. At the same time, one can choose to disengage community pretty easily.  Unfortunately, when community becomes a burden or encroaches upon our personal goals or values, we tend to take a step back.

However, eastern cultures (India, Middle East, Asia) view community as one's total identity.  Individuals do not exist within community. Let's call this a "We-self" culture. Community is one's essence..one's livelihood, one's sense of being whole. An individual does not make a decision without the rest of the community weighing in on it... To make an independent decision within such a culture is to successfully tear one's self out of the community... In some extreme situations, this could lead to death... and most certainly leads to being ostracized and becoming an outcast...  Here is a more specific understanding of this concept, suppose an individual within a "We-self" culture makes a decision to embrace a different religion. This is huge for someone to even get to this point... So, once this person makes the bold move to leave their entire sense of self and cling to something else... they are free falling...unless there is another community present to catch and envelope them :-)

Acts 2 describes a catalystic moment.
Acts 2:42-47

42 All the believers devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, and to fellowship, and to sharing in meals (including the Lord’s Supper), and to prayer.
43 A deep sense of awe came over them all, and the apostles performed many miraculous signs and wonders. 44 And all the believers met together in one place and shared everything they had. 45 They sold their property and possessions and shared the money with those in need. 46 They worshiped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord’s Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity—47 all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their fellowship those who were being saved.
Last I checked, Israel sits smack dab in the heart of the Middle East... Culturally, we're talking, "We-self" ... The nation of Israel embraced Judaism. You were either born a Jew, or you were not. So, when Jesus preached about denying self, taking up one's cross and following Him...He was speaking to the heart of the issue... To acknowledge Jesus as Messiah meant denial of an entire sense of self. He was saying.. Prepare to be rejected. Prepare to be ostracized...and cast out of your family. Quite possibly, prepare to die. Before Jesus went to be with the Father, He promised to send the Holy Spirit to empower His followers and to give them what they need to live for Him. He told them, "Go to Jerusalem and wait...the promise will come..." On the day of Pentecost (Acts 1), 120 people were huddled in a little room, desperately waiting for this promise... they probably didn't know what to expect... so when the Holy Spirit invaded the room... it had to be a little crazy. They were caught up in the moment and people in the streets thought they were drunk! Peter, a guy who was usually all passion and very little knowledge, steps up and starts waxing eloquently...sharing the gospel and inviting people to follow Jesus!! And BOOM 3,000 people (all from "We-self" communities) made a supernatural decision. What had been a weekend trip to Jerusalem, now became an indefinite stay with a bunch of strangers... 
 
Imagine trying to pastor this community! So, this band of people who had just lost all sense of identity are doing life together...living around the teachings of Jesus... I'd say that is a little inconvenient. I could write a series of blogs about cultural dynamics of NT Church community (maybe I will, but lots of people have already done that).  What I find most interesting about the NT Church is the role that community played in spreading the gospel of Christ...and establishing God's Kingdom. Community was the lifeline... I tend to think that the NT Church community gave new believers the courage to step out and follow Jesus (to the point of death). In my western, many-times-removed culture, I know this applies to me...but I have a difficult time wrapping my mind and heart around it...for application sake.

In the American Church, we want community... we talk about the New Testament church and make efforts to create our version of community. But seldom do we find it. Community is not an event. It is not a group on FB, nor the number of friends who post scriptures in your newsfeed... (Although, they're great tools). I think in our "I-self" culture, community is the cross that we bear. When Jesus tells us to deny ourselves, He says...deny your individual, "all-by-myself" mindset..reach out and receive what others offer..And/or "stop looking out for number one, BE PRESENT." When He says follow Him, He means...go throughout your day looking for what He's doing...and BE there.

Community is being present to the Holy Spirit and to each other... The study notes in the Spirit-Filled Life Bible define koinonia, the Greek word for community used in Acts, as follows...
"Sharing, unity, close association, partnership, participation, a society, a communion, a fellowship, contributory help,brotherhood.... the individual shares in common the intimate bond of fellowship with the rest of the Christian society.... it cements believers to the Lord Jesus and each other." 

It CEMENTS us to each other? Um, my individual "I-self" nature does not like this!! Lately, I've been encountering the "messiness" of community... and each time, I am presented with a choice... Will you engage and be present...REALLY present? Or, will you unplug and come back when things are convenient? I cannot say that I have always made the best choice... but I'm learning that there's joy in choosing community... in partnering with the Holy Spirit. Community is not God, but it is a reflection of His heart...

 On another note, how can we ask people to follow Jesus Christ without offering to be a safe place for them? We need to be willing to walk with them as they disengage their past identity and put on the identity of Jesus. We help by demonstrating the Love of Jesus in Community... right?

There are so many layers to unpack in this concept... I hate leaving something unresolved... but for now I will leave it... What do you think??

Hold My Hand

Nothing moves me more than seeing two life-weathered people deeply in love. I love seeing that look in their eye that says, "I'm yours & you are mine." I love when a couple has been married longer than they were not married...how they still tease one another relentlessly & then moments later they say, "This is my best friend." it speaks so much to me about God's intentions for us to love deeply, fiercely & loyally...till death do us part.

I work in an orthopedics office. About 90% of our clientele come to us because their bodies are getting older and it's time for a knee or hip replacement. But several times a day, a little couple will shuffle up to my window... Tell me some good stories on their way out the door. What just melts my little romantic heart is when they begin to leave, they help each other gather up purse, hat, paperwork, etc and then reach for each other's hands. They walk away together. Usually one is protective of the other... Today, i checked out a lady who was a little wobbly and before she could even turn to leave I heard her husband say..."hold my hand." She reached for his hand and he took it, kissed it & tucked it under his arm, safe & secure... They shuffled arm in arm out the door. All I could do was watch... That simple act of loving endearment took my breath away...

One of my life goals is to marry my best friend & to celebrate our 50th anniversary. I want the joy of shuffling through even the toughest seasons with someone who will say, "Hold my hand..." now, I could turn this to a spiritual metaphor... In fact, the Lord has said that to me :-) I am grateful that He does hold my hand through all of life's journey. But today, I want to express how beautiful that human relationship is...that intricate & intimate friendship called marriage. Hollywood cannot hold a candle to this kind of romance... Wrinkles, warts & broken hips...love only deepens.

How beautiful :-)

Coming out of hiding...

I've been reading a book by Brennan Manning called, "Posers, Fakers & Wannabes"... So far (I'm not very far) I have more questions than answers. Recently, a dear friend responded to me, "welcome to seminary..." Manning talks about how we have a tendency to hide who we really are...we pretend to be something we're not...someone we wish we were ... Because we think people can't handle the "real" self. I've been saying I struggle with this for a long time and I decided to "unmask" a little bit...

Who is Rachel?
She is the oldest daughter of two very human, very passionate ministers. People who have interesting stories and who are all-around sacrificing, Jesus-loving people. Rachel was raised to love people...to love Jesus...to serve. Rachel is a lover of all things creative. She is a closet musician, not disciplined enough to play the piano publicly and not confident enough to call herself a singer. Rachel loves getting lost in good fiction, fiction that probably doesn't qualify as literature, but oh well. Rachel loves words... Any kind, any language (well, not necessarily dirty words). Rachel enjoys thinking (although she tends to OVER think everything!) ... She always thinks in metaphors and gets excited about the big picture. She day dreams of traveling... Walking through historic towns, listening to others' accented stories...basking in natural beauties: mountains, oceans, forests filled with giant trees.. Rachel has a vivid imagination. She tends to give inanimate objects personalities, voices & opinions. Rachel loves characters... Quirky people. Rachel enjoys listening and helping others understand life, love & other mysteries..especially where God is concerned. Rachel likes to try her hand at creative things like knitting, painting, cooking, decorating & pottery. She enjoys being with people (even when we just go to walmart, if we're together...I enjoy it. Rachel tends to talk a lot! She gets really excited and wants to share everything with someone willing to listen. Rachel loves taking care of people...seeing people grow, change & become. Rachel loves learning new things... Really! She likes to be right, rarely is wrong...and always tries to have the last word:-/ she hates arguing over stupid things...can't stand when people are being devalued or put down. Rachel longs for restoration of relationships & identity. Rachel loves surprises...mainly because it is so hard to surprise her. She's a hopeless romantic and she dreams of a man who will treasure her. Rachel tends to love fiercely and tends to love too much.... She tends to expect herself to be perfect, while all the while knowing, she is far from perfect. Rachel feels least comfortable with her peers ... But it seems that God keeps calling her to serve them. She tends to be extremely intimidated by leaders..to the point of ridiculousness. She avoids putting herself out there because at some level she fears being told go back to the kitchen or go get a husband and come back later... Rachel is a nurturer, a discipler...a spiritual mother. Rachel dreams of having a husband and lots of children...but shies away from anyone in whom she is truly interested...somehow believing he won't feel the same ... Rachel is a perfectionist yet a procrastinator. She's an idealist... She loves to laugh... She loves to dance... She has a deep longing to play a vital role in something bigger than herself... She loves tradition but hates when people do things out of tradition. She lives coziness...being at home curled up on the couch...Rachel loves holding babies and talking to middle school boys in all of their awkwardness. She loves to write and is a firm believer in journaling...it's strong medicine for a weary soul. She dreams of writing for a living, but can't seem to focus long enough to write anything. She has too many causes...she is passionate about justice or rather bringing justice to those who have been treated injustly. She is actually an introvert who loves being with people. Family means the world to her and she loves sharing her family with others.

Rachel has learned to live hidden away.
She rarely lets others into her heart or life beyond what she thinks is safe. She has learned to maximize her gift for administration to make a place for herself. She likes routine and order except she often fails to keep it in her personal life. Rachel does not like not winning and failure...at times, she avoids doing things she loves because she does not want to fail. Rachel is a leader who prefers to lead from backstage, but who will step up if no one else does. She often feels misunderstood, taken for granted and not taken seriously. But she's beginning to realize that may be an internal issue. Rachel is pretty complicated.

She is trying not to hide anymore. She doesn't like to hide. She wants to know & be known. She wants someone to hear her... She wants someone to want to listen...to want to be near her heart & not to be satisfied with her shell, what she shows when she's afraid:-)

Rachel knows God loves her...

A needle in a pile of needles...

So, I've been In Springfield for two months... Life has been good. If not overwhelming. New town. New home. New job. New church. New friends... I've been thrilled because I'm certain being right where I need to be... Over these past few weeks ice felt like I've been riding an emotional roller coaster. Sometimes... I just get tired of being the "new girl" everywhere I go. I've been telling myself that it will get better, and it has been slowly getting better. Who would have thought a girl go through culture shock just moving to Springfield? Sometimes I have found myself just wishing for something...someone familiar. Haha, at times I've rejoiced over wandering through Dillon's, a Kroger owned store chain, it has a hint of home in it... A friend of mine has been telling me to give myself grace...I'm really trying...really! Sometimes it would be nice to just get a good warm, familiar family/friend hug!!! No words, just someone elses strength.

On that note, I am really excited about the new community God is planting me in :-) 20twenty is unlike any church I've ever been privileged to be a part of... More on that later...

I've been reflecting ;-)when I was in college, I had a friend who compared our season of training together to being "a needle in a stack of needles" ... You see she was talking about coming from home where finding like-minded, talented leader types was like finding a needle in a haystack...she was unique, she stood out...everyone loved her, but at Southeastern she was just like everyone else...speared trying to lead a bunch of leaders. As our conversation continued, we discussed how sometimes leaders just need to learn to follow. Right now, I find myself back in that place ...being a leader with a lot of leaders. I'm trying to learn the art of leading myself, being myself ... While still being willing to humble myself and be led. Truth be told, i like following ... When i trust my leader (which i do, probably for the first time in my life) I'm trying to find my way to that place where I'm being true to the call of God and the leadership God has placed in my life. It's not always easy or comfortable, but it's exciting because I'm part of something bigger than myself...something I truly believe in... This is where I am supposed to be. This is the Body of Christ, no big I's & little you's...we all have roles to fill...the purpose is to find that role and To fill it with all your might...so here I go!

Community: My Mama told me...

"In order to have friends, one must show oneself friendly..." I know that's in the Bible somewhere...but to be honest, I'm not sure where it is at this moment?

I've lived my whole life trying to live by that principle. It seems simple enough... the unstated expectation is that being friendly should bring about long-lasting, life-giving friendship but...not so much! Honestly, I've found that when I genuinely offer my friendship to others, it is rare to have it reciprocated in kind. Especially within the Christian world, we're good at the initial expression... Maybe. But when it all boils down, it is awkward or uncomfortable to truly connect...we'd rather have 998 Facebook friends and tell 2345 followers on Twitter what we had for breakfast. I recently took a sabbatical from Facebook and it took most of my friends almost a month to notice! Community has become a cultural buzzword... One that I doubt this generation truly understands.

Loneliness is one of the most prevalent problems of our day...even though we are the most socially-networked people in history. What is community? What is the difference between a clique and community?

I think community requires much more from Us than what most people are willing to offer. It requires being present to people... Even when we things on our agenda...or when we feel uncomfortable...it is praying for & reaching out to someone outside of the social scene. Community is a commitment to accountability ... A willingness to receive criticism & correction, as well as to offer it when necessary. Community is inconvenient. Most of us are only cool with community when we choose it...thus can be seen in how we choose out churches, "it just doesn't 't have what I'm looking for...I wasn't getting fed..." it 's still about me...not about you...or God, for that matter...

But what happens when God calls an individual into a community? What happens when the "Golden Rule" of community doesn't work?What if people reject one's friendliness or at least do not reciprocate it? How does someone continue to be in community? Community is awkward. I wish I knees how to get people to take interest beyond the surface?

Whatever happened to...be a father to the fatherless & husband to the widow? just sayin'.

My heart is SO full... Jesus is incredible! I don't know if you've ever experienced the love of God in a tangible way...I have. It is a daily occurrence. For many Years I have "served" the Lord. But God's love is deep...my relationship is so much more than servanthood and even friendship...it is a romance.

It is the subtle glances,the sweet unexpected stolen moments, the whispers of love and gentle caresses that keep love alive. And then every so often, there are the moments to revel in...the moments that go in one's journal...the moments that overwhelm your senses leaving you breathless...your mind racing...in those moments, your heart snaps a photograph... You will always cling to that moment as precious...

Love can become familiar and routine...and that is dangerous. Loving someone is as much about the daily things as the grand gestures...the roles we play in one another's lives. Protection. Comfort. Nurture. Provision. Those roles are a faithful expression...a daily statement of "I love you. I am yours and you are mine." As humans, we tend to settle into the dailyness of loving each other practically and forget about the romance...

Walking with Jesus can become like that...loving Him can be more about what we do than about being together...listening to each other...being near each other...

So whenever a moment comes along to revel in the romance...it deepens the daily. I love to experience that romance :-) it is heavenly (no pun intended) I recently had a precious encounter with Jesus... So unexpected and sweet. If you've never known God's love...NOTHING compares to it... I pray that you will go after Jesus, actually, take time to listen...he is pursuing you, whether you know it or not. Let Him love you...respond to His great love! It will mess you up...